


Sunflower

by xxstk122



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Gen, Gen Work, Hurt/Comfort, i miss them so much, wonheon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-01
Updated: 2020-02-01
Packaged: 2021-02-28 05:55:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,674
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22508881
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xxstk122/pseuds/xxstk122
Summary: Did you know?Sunflowers grow facing the sun and when they can’t find the sun, they face each other.
Relationships: Lee Hoseok | Wonho & Lee Jooheon
Comments: 2
Kudos: 23





	Sunflower

**Author's Note:**

> Hello!  
> This is a fic in an attempt to comfort myself because I miss them so much.  
> Also they *KIND OF* hint depression but they don't explicitly say nor confirm it anywhere. Just general talks about describing feelings.
> 
> Try listenint to SUNFLOWER by Post Malone while reading this :D

Jooheon woke up with his body feeling heavy.

No he wasn’t sick. Apart from being overworked that is. But that’s just normal for being an idol. Working day and night tirelessly to make fans happy.

It was suppose to make him happy too but now he feels so sluggish and tired all the time.

And it _scares_ him.

Performing made him happy. It was his dream to make songs, perform on stage and hear the crowd shout their love for him. He was already accomplishing that for years. Each year their schedule getting tighter and busier. It felt more of a chore lately. Maybe he was just tired. Maybe he could take the day off.

**NO** ****

A voice in his head rang.

He can’t rest. He can’t waste time doing nothing. If he could walk and stand up then that definitely means he should be capable of doing some work.

It’s suppose to be a “rest day” for them. The company gives them 1 day off before the concert day so they could be fully charged for the actual performance. (And also to prevent injuries that may occur during last minute practice)

The rest of the members went on about their day doing whatever they want. Jooheon woke up alone in his shared bedroom with Hyungwon and Shownu. Most likely the two already went to eat together outside.

He pushes himself up off the bed before taking a deep breath, trying his best to push himself to be in the right head space. He needs to be motivated to actual do work. To actually write lyrics or compose songs.

He goes to the kitchen to be greeted by silence. He opens the fridge to see a tupperware with Kihyun’s writing on it.

_Here’s your part of the breakfast. I’ll be going home for a bit. Just order for lunch and dinner. - Kihyun_

He takes out the food Kihyun made for him and re-heats it in the microwave. Jooheon looks at the clock above it.

10:23 AM

_Looks like this is already breakfast AND lunch for me._

He hears footsteps coming near him. He turns around to see Wonho wiping his face with a towel. Looks like his hyung just finished working out.

“Hyung? You’re here? You didn’t go home?” Jooheon asks

Wonho shakes his head “No. I’m just gonna stay here today. I’ll see mom tomorrow at the concert anyway. I think I’d just try to condition myself today.”

The microwave beeps, signaling Jooheon that his food was re-heated.

He doesn’t take it out yet though. He just stares at his reflection on the microwave while Wonho gets a glass of water to refresh himself.

“Hyung?” the younger says it in a whisper but Wonho heard him anyways

“Is anything wrong, Jooheon?”

Jooheon closes his eyes and says “I don’t feel so good”

Wonho comes forward and touches his forehead “Are you feeling feverish? Come sit down for a minute”

Jooheon gently pushes Wonho’s hands away “No. Not physically. Like.. I just feel tired, you know? I’m so nervous about tomorrow too. We’ve done concerts for so many times and yet I’m so afraid I’ll fuck up or not do my best. What if monbebes don’t enjoy it? What if I get the timing wrong? What if-”

“Whoa. Calm down, little bee. Take a seat for a while okay?” Wonho urges him to sit by pulling out a chair for him. Once Jooheon was seated, he retrieved the food the younger forgot to get inside the microwave.

Jooheon was just starting at the table thinking deeply. He was starting to shake his leg and his eyebrows were knotted closely.

“Here drink some water first” Wonho gave him a glass of water and soothed his back.

“Now what’s the problem, honey? It’s normal to get nervous before a performance but something tells me this is just more than stage jitters” Wonho adds

Jooheon takes a deep breath before talking “I’m scared. I don’t feel as happy as I was with doing all of this. Am I losing my drive? My passion for performing? How can I make monbebes happy if I can’t be happy myself? I need to work, to get focused and yet here I am wasting my time on these non-sense feelings”

“Oh honey bee…” Wonho’s heart squeezes in pain, he knows what Jooheon was saying. He already experienced these emotions before. “It’s not a waste of time. You have to let your feelings be to process everything. Feeling down or tired isn’t a weakness. It isn’t non-sense at all. Your feelings are valid because you feel them, okay?”

Jooheon lets out a loud sigh and closes his eyes. He tries his best to hold back the tears but they just flowed out of him. His heart hurts, his head hurts, everything hurts. He just wanted to be okay again.

Wonho hugs him tight and rubs his back “It’s okay~ Shhh~ It’s okay Jooheon. You will be okay. It’s gonna be okay. I’m here for you. The members are here for you. Your family loves you. Monbebes will love you no matter what. It’s going to be okay”

Jooheon only nods but continues to cry.

Wonho can’t do anything other than try to comfort his brother. He feels like crying too to be honest. But it wasn’t the time for his own tears, he had to be strong for Jooheon as of now.

“Hyung?”

“Yes?”

“What should I do now?”

Wonho lets go of him for a bit and looks at him directly “Now, what you should do is rest. You’ll feel better when you let it all out. Just let yourself process it. Do what makes you relax and comfortable”

Jooheon sniffs. His eyes and nose red from the crying.

“Then can we cuddle for a bit?”

Wonho smiles gently at him “Of course we can but you should eat this first okay?”

Jooheon nods and wipes his face. He calms himself down and he eats the food in front of him slowly but surely.

They spend the day cuddling and sharing cat photos with each other. They talk about their honest feelings, trusting one another with bare thoughts and worries.

* * *

Jooheon sighs as he falls on his bed.

He had fun at the concert, he really did but something was nagging him in his mind now.

He stays silent for a while, trying to find some inner peace but all he hears a small voice saying

_You’re lacking._

_You should have done better._

The voice gets louder and louder.

The words they say keeps on getting more hurtful.

“Hyung, it’s your time to shower” Changkyun’s voice snaps him out of it

He only hums in acknowledgement. Hopefully the younger doesn’t think of his behaviour too much.

He takes a long… long… shower.

How many minutes has he been in there?

More than 30 minutes for sure.

The shower continues to pour water on him.

Deep in thought once again. Wondering what’s wrong with himself.

A knock on the door disrupts his thoughts

“Jooheon? It’s time for dinner. We’re waiting for you” Wonho softly spoke on the other side

Jooheon turns off the shower and dries himself.

When he opens the door he sees Wonho staring at him worriedly.

“You okay there, honey bee?”

“Yeah. Just go ahead without me. I’ll catch up, hyung”

Wonho pulls out his phone and makes a call.

Jooheon opens up the cabinet to get dressed. He assumed Wonho would be going ahead but he doesn’t hear the door open nor close.

“You guys go ahead, I’ll wait for Jooheon.

Yeah. We’ll just meet you there.”

Jooheon turns around and sees Wonho sitting on his bed comfortably.

“Hyung, I told you you can go ahead without me”

“Nope”

“What?”

“I know something is wrong, Jooheon. I’m not gonna make you say it but I at least want to be here for you” He says with a wide smile on his face.

_How does he know? I didn’t even say anything yet._

Jooheon sits on the bed and hugs Wonho.

He doesn’t say anything.

Neither of them speak for a while.

Wonho just keeps rubbing the younger’s back to provide comfort.

Wonho lets go for a while and looks at Jooheon while fixing his hair “Do you still want to go out or should we just have room service delivered?”

Jooheon has a big pout on his face and shakes his head no.

“Okay okay, let’s just have room service. Let me tell the others we’re not coming anymore” Wonho gets his phone and opts to just text rather than call so he won’t have to hear the others whining.

“Hoseokkie hyung?”

Wonho puts down his phone and looks at Jooheon again.

“Thank you so much” Jooheon says to him with eyes shining. He looks like he was going to cry.

Wonho felt like he was going to cry as well.

“Oh baby, I know you would do the same for me. You HAVE done the same for me” Wonho pats Jooheon’s head, trying to stop the younger from crying again.

Jooheon sniffs. “W-what do you mean I have done the same for you?”

Wonho giggles “There are days where I get like this too. A lot of times actually. You just occasionally cuddling up to me or asking my opinions on songs or asking if I have ate or working out with me. There were lots of times before, I bet you just didn’t know.”

“R-really? I did?” Jooheon was crying now. He couldn’t hold his tears back. Just knowing his hyung feels the same kind of pain from time to time makes him feel incredibly hurt.

Wonho’s tears were coming out slowly as well. “Yes honey. You did well. You’re an amazing person. I’m sure of that. I’m here for you. Even on days I don’t feel as good. I will always be here for you.”

**_Did you know?_ ** ****

**_Sunflowers grow facing the sun and when they can’t find the sun, they face each other._ ** ****

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time writing for a Gen fic T^T  
> I hope it was platonic enough?? kkkkkk
> 
> I imagine Wonho loves to call Jooheon lots of pet names because he adores the baby like that T^T  
> I got inspired to write this because of that quote from sunflowers. I don't actually know if this is factual but I think it really suits them well :)
> 
> Please leave a kudos or a comment ^^  
> Thank you!


End file.
